heyhey.
i wna dedicate this post to kwanwei ,
alright .
and im sorry girls, if anyone of you disagree to locking this blog, but im locking it , until kwanwei sees this post , and you all can decide whether to unlock it,
its up to you (:
kwanwei,
i know you are really unhappy with me,
becos of all the misunderstandings ?
+++ and all add up until like that ?
all i can say is ,
yes i admit.
that time i did tell illene she wasnt fat,
but i still asked poh ee, infact kinda argued with her , how come she so heavy ?
that one, i admit is solely my fault, im contradicting my ownself.
and im really sorry, and i promise i wont ever judge people and contradict myself again,
i'll try my v best.
idk,
but poh ee said you think im going back to sec two ?
like flirt or what , yea, as what sherlyn/illene/poh ee said,
flirt is what others define themselves, not me.
all i can say is , if you ever think im flirting or what,
please please . take the intiative to tell me ?
i really dont wna have misunderstandings that pile up,
until you all " dont dare to trust me " ,
i really hope you can trust me back again, and accept me ?
but the decision is all up to you anyway,
i cant force you ..
all i know is ,
recently i knew you alr didnt like me,
and i did try to msg and ask you, but you didnt really wna reply me.
but, one of ijjpsk's rules are say everyth out,
compromise and sacrifice,
even if you hate anyone in the clique , tell the person nicely,
take the intiative, dont kip everyth to yourself,
i really did try to take the intiative,
becos i had that feeling that you were shooting me on your blog.
well, i guess in your point of view you'll say im feeling guilty for what i've done, if i've done nth iwouldnt think its me,
but i alr felt the unhappy feeling you had with me, therefore when you posted such a post, i guessed it was me .
i know explaining myself wont do any good,
if you dont wna listen/read this its alright,
im just trying my v best,
to clear things up between us and everything.
according to sherlyn/illene, i broke ijjpsk rules cos of that time jasmine/derek thing ?
thats why you all think, whats the use to trying to follow ijjpsk rules ?
i dontknow,
but i really didnt talk to him, he was the one that talked to me first,and my natural instinct was to reply.
yea, iguess in your point of view, it would be considered flirting,
but i promised not to talk to him alr, and i havent done so since then.
during recess today,
sherlyn said that actually want talk everything out de ?
but didnt, cos i was just playing my fone games ?
and poh ee said that you were waiting for this day ?
so we didnt talk it out in the end,
and aft sch,
i wanted to talk everyth out,
but you didnt wna come ,
poh ee came over and said, you're scared that i'll cry ? cos you'll scold me ?
at first, out side the classes, i did want to tellyou, lets like talk it all out,
but you avoided eye contact with me when i looked at you, perhaps you didnt notice, its okay.
i guess jasmine doesnt know much about this,
and to me, in my point of view, you were sorta telling her, on all the stuff you're unhappy with me or smth.
i dontknow ba,
but we could have had a talk ?
my time was very limited then, had chemistry.
in the end i still went down for chem, without talking it out at all with you .
aft chem, i called sherlyn, ask her whether want me come up not ?
she say nvm ba,
so this whole talk thing was cancelled ?
yes kwanwei,
i know you're unhappy with me.
but could you please talk it out with me ?
and please, try not to assume, cos in my point of view you've been assuming .
no offense , i've no idea whether this post will anger you or upset you,
but im just telling you how i feel .
since you dontwant, or didnt see your fone ?
i calledyou , you didnt answer, nevermind ..
plus,poh ee said aft sch.
you're upset with me,
cos i wenta tell illene and sherlyn bout all that im unhappy with,
and not you ?
i wanted to tell you, wanted to clarify everything with you, but you gave me no chance,
no chance kwanwei.
at least thats what i think .
kwanwei,
try putting yourself in my shoes ?
its just a few more days to your birthday,
and you have such a big conflict with your bestf, she doesnt seem , to trust you anymore.
any idea how much it hurts ,i reallyreally wna clarify things with you .
yes,
to me , itsnot really my fault,
to you, i think you think its my fault.
however, i think we're both in the fault, aft reading your blog all over,and everyth .
could we not make things so complicated anymore ?
apologise and clear things up, and be bestfriends again ?
yes , yesterday i was tired to the point.
i told illene ,
"give up luh, no use le uh."
yes , it triggers a wt_ reaction from you all,
but im also upset that our friendship's become like this,
its up to you ,
whether you're willing to clarify things with me ba,
and make up ?
i really hope we can make up,
all this time we were besties, taking fotos , asking for joanne's number , the crazy times we had, when you came down when i called, cos of shiwei ?
all the times we had,i really dontwant tolose you as a bestfriend girl ):
i really want you back as my bestfriend ,
i dontwant things to turn out like this ,
can we all make up ?
can we all try ,
whenever we're unhappy with anyone,
try to share ? and if we're unhappy with someone over something , dont let it pile up,
but clarify it ?
perhaps all the trust you have in me is gone,
but i really wna tell you all,
whatever i've done wrong, whatever i've done to make any of you unhappy,
im sincerely sorry.
i know infinite apologies wouldnt help, its all up to you, any of you who're unhappy with me to forgive me for whatever i've done to make you unhappy.
kwanwei,
if you're reading this post.
i hope you can , and will contact me , so that we can be bestfs again ?
i dontwant the friendship between us to be like that ):
i really dontwant,
i dontwant.
i dontwant..
its all up to you ba kwanwei,
and im sorry any of you,
if i've offended any of you in the past, or now , or in this blog post.
i promise, i didnt mean at all to offend you,
i just hope you'll be able to make up with me girl ..
im sorry .
IJJPSK ♥♥